Day Two- Why Am I Here Again?

Day two of Kundalini training had me thrashing about all over the place. I am suffering from a catch in my hip that sends pain all the way down my leg from a heavy suitcase incident. I naturally pack too much crap! Sitting still on the floor for hours on end is not fun for this yogi at the moment. I don't think I was peaceful for more than two consecutive seconds all day long as I wiggled and writhed in pain.

  I had an all-out panic attack when told about a breathing exercise we would be doing today that required hands-on breathing with a partner.  We would be pushing on each other's stomach then chest to help us thoroughly exhale while trying to breathe. The thought of it alone had my chest tightening and my breath becoming choppy and shallow. I imagined it making my heartbeat go wonky from my WPW and freaked out. The ideas in my head were much worse than the actuality. Like a trooper, I decided to give it a chance before I chickened out.  I told my partner that I was a little freaked out and why and she was very empathic and accommodating to my issues. I made it through! But in a Kundalini sense, I think the point is that I was challenged- very challenged. That's the name of the game!

 So- yeah, I ran from the building as soon as we were released today. I have never been happier to leave the yoga studio in my life- yet. But wait!

Tomorrow morning we start at 4:30 am. We will be beginning a 40-day meditation and Sadhana. Sadhana is a dangerously close to praying in my opinion. We are setting aside time to meditate, sing and spend time in quiet introspection. I am curious and a little skeptical of this practice, but I will give it a go. I am entering this experience with the intention of being open-minded and "allowing"  experiences. Did you know that flexibility is a sign of good mental health? Haha.

I am headed to bed because 3:00 am is not in my realm of reasonable waking times. I have firm belief that I should NEVER be coherent before the sun rises much less before it is even what I consider the next day. Let's spend a moment going over my resistance to the whole Sadhana event.


1. Sleep is a vital part of our health.

2. For myself, I feel that driving around in the dark is not in my best interest. Did you know that girls start losing their night vision at 17?

3. I don't wanna. (This one is the reason I will do it. I even rebel against myself.)


Pushing ALL of my buttons at 4:30 am?  This should make for a helluva day and story for tomorrow.